My son Mark was in the first grade when he was recommended for a special reading class called “Resource” at school.  My son knew that this meant he wasn’t reading as well as the others and felt singled out and embarrassed.  The resource teacher worked with him all year and although she never really reported that he showed any improvement in the class, she did tell me how smart he was and that she expected  him to someday be running his own business or being very successful in his adult life and she shared with me how much she had grown to love him. 

I started homeschooling Mark’s older sister when he was in the third grade, and at this point Mark still dreaded reading and was showing very little academic strengths.  Mark started to ask why he couldn’t homeschool like his older sister.  I really didn’t have a good excuse other than his independent older sister made it very easy to homeschool.  Mark, however, would be a different story, I knew he would require much more attention.  This intimidated me, but I caved in and brought him home.

Through my homeschooling experience I learned that both of my boys, Mark and his brother Britton really didn’t enjoy reading until they were about eleven years old.  Although I had tried everything; The Tree House Series, comic books, the Great Brain books, magazines, joke books, short stories, ‘you read a chapter, I’ll read a chapter’, I even tried reading out loud the first couple of chapters hoping to’ hook’ them…no such luck. 

Both the boys went through this terrible stage of not wanting to read.  They told me that it was boring and that they dreaded it and felt like it was a waist of time. They would rather cut the grass, clean out the garage, or bath the dogs, anything but read.  Mark would do his math and then turn into a little handyman around the house to avoid having to read.  This too had its advantages, because Mark and Britton both developed other skills that would benefit them in life all the while trying to avoid having to read.

Finally, when Mark was eleven years old, and we had spent many miserable hours trying to get him to read, a best-seller hit the shelves and everyone was reading this new book. Many of Marks friends were talking about this amazing story and there was an exciting buzz in the air for this ‘wonder book’.  Kristin, his older sister had read it and loved it.  This book dominated our dinner conversation, it was on the news, and even adults were reading it. This peaked Marks curiosity. 

I jumped at the opportunity and suggested that he read this book on his own time, and at his own pace, my hope was to get him ‘hooked’ without any educational pressure whatsoever.   I promised Mark I would not monitor what he read, or quiz him on his comprehension,  measure how many pages he read in an hour, or make him write about what he had read (sounds like a homeschooling parent?).  All I asked, is that he finish it, just finish this one book.

Well, what a miracle.  As he read this book, things began to happen. I caught him reading for hours.  I found him not wanting to put the book down.  Nothing else was getting done, he didn’t want to go to bed at night, he just wanted to read, read and read some more.  This book had over 350 pages and Mark finished it in about 8 days.  I was elated and Mark was too.  Mark had broken through some mental barriers that he had for a long time about reading.

What did Mark learn from this?  Mark learned of himself, that he could read and was a good reader.  He learned that he was reading at or above grade level and really enjoyed it.  He was anxious to read the sequel and when he did, he flew through it just as fast. To this day, at age 19 Mark still loves to read.

What did Mom learn from this?  Boys are slower to read. Don’t push them.  My other son Britton did the same thing; he just did not want to read at age six, seven or eight years old.  We spent hours on the couch fighting our way through one chapter of a Tree House Book.  Finally, reflecting on Marks experience I stopped trying and directed Britton’s attention in other areas.  We did our math and we did other things; we went on field trips, played in the pool, I read to him, he drew pictures for me, we learned about rocks, rain and chemistry,  he sang songs, and learned to play the violin.  But when Britton turned eleven years old, I introduced him to this same book and laid down the same rules and away he went.  Britton is now loves to read too.

If you are experiencing the same thing with your boys, I hope my experience will help you.  Be patient and do the things he is interested in for now, and when he is ready, he will let you know. You will find that one book that will light a fire in his eyes. It might be fiction, it may be a novel, it may be a biography.  Just keep trying to find his interest and he will take off.  Too often we put unnecessary pressure on our young children in early grade school years and it just seems to hurt their self worth.  Trust them.  Let them be boys.  They will eventually want to read and will learn to enjoy it